Please Do Not Die Right Now…..
There are times in your life when you are dressed for a fantastic night and look amazing. Sometimes I get myself dressed up and look nice… hair extensions or halo and fun clothes… I can always get ready in 15 minutes and look fancy nancy.
So, out on the date we go to Easton and go to one of the more swanky restaurants – it’s a lovely evening and lots of people in the restaurant.
Thankful for Open Table to make reservations. We arrive and they say it will be a few minutes. It’s about 20 and time to sit down.
After looking over the menu, I decide on something chicken that is grilled – I will get to why I forget shortly. The date looks at the menu and orders lobster and steak.
We chat about life and the evening and weekend plans. Dinner is brought out and I take my napkin and place it in my lap, I am setting my silverware down in order to eat and my date has a funny look….
At first I am like.. he looks like he is choking but I haven’t even taken a bite. So I look at his plate and realize a piece of lobster or maybe two is gone and a piece of the steak is missing.
My mind jumps to – how did he get 3 bites when I haven’t had any, but then I also jump to – Holy Wow! He is choking….
So I said – Are you Choking and he nods and legitimately is starting to turn color and stands up… he is really choking and I am going to have to go Breaking Bad and do the Heimlich Maneuver with this guy in front of a packed restaurant….
The first thing I do is hit him on the back, because maybe it’s just lodged there… couldn’t be that lucky – could I?
Nope! So in heels I am behind this guy grabbing his stomach and lifting him / doing the Heimlich maneuver and at the same time no one in the entire restaurant seems like maybe we should help or maybe we should get help – proceed to literally watch the Heidi Show.
I am an entertainer and a storyteller but geez Louise – can you not at least come over and help with Mr. 6’2” and me in my heels body lifting him ? Nope… so after 6 painstaking lifts and slams – his steak comes out…projectile and onto the floor…
I am so many things at this point…embarrassed, sweaty, tired, hungry, and just want to run out of there. It shocks me that at no time did any member of the restaurant come to check on either of us. After this charade, I just wanted to leave. I don’t like to “see food” on the floor and the whole experience is just awful.
I never got to taste my chicken, the date did pay for the meal, and he did debate on taking another bite and I said take it for the road.
When you think the date was good minus almost dying part – I mean I am a hero. Cheerio to me for that.
It’s now weird and awkward and I really don’t have much to say. I am hungry and aggravated that my night turned into a spectacle when I just wanted a nice romantic evening…
As we are leaving Easton and heading back to the west side of Columbus, the unthinkable happens.
Stay tuned for the next episode Anaphylactic Heidi
The song for this episode: How to Save a Life