So I deleted the app after Smooth Criminal and decided after a day or so to rejoin. I had deleted the app and all my information so when I logged in using my phone number I had to reinstate my information which showed I was paid for 27 more days. Good! And now I have to figure out what to say .. again…
Okay, now to add new pictures and maybe to be a little less judgmental when it comes to profiles. Perhaps we will swipe on more people and see how things progress…
I swipe right on this guy because he has enthusiasm in his pictures and seems fun. Tall, sandy hair, baseball hat and a car selfie.
Introducing Hot Tub Hottie which I will explain shortly.
Hot Tub Hottie engages in conversation about me (references things from my bio) and sharing a paragraph about himself – where he grew up, his hobbies, where he finds joy. To be honest – the guy is in sales and could sell ice to an Eskimo – he is smart and has his elevator speech down.
I love the Tinder Swindler on Netflix (if you haven’t seen it, watch it) and like that – many of these guys have cut and paste – what to say to draw the ladies in. It is textbook and almost creepy – you can tell the ones who live on these apps and pretty quickly tell the ones who want off.
Hot Tub Hottie immediately uses the app like texting and immediately sets off to establish a quasi relationship. Being new on the app, it flags you .. almost like “a blue light special” and sets you apart from other profiles since you are new.
I have joked that I am a Blue Light Special for years- literally available and then gone – usually for long periods of time..: I really don’t want to be back in the market for dating.
At this point in my life… it’s old, tiring, and I think arranged marriage might be more successful. I even gave thought to 90 day fiancé or Married at First Sight – with this track record… really, can I do worse?
I am laughing .. I have dated some amazing people and each has given me different things in my life and I am grateful. There are always part of me that wishes it would have lasted or worked out long term.
Some people come in your life for a season, some stay a few years, and very few last a lifetime.
Okay, back to why you are here. Hot Tub Hottie…
Hot Tub Hottie comes with tons of compliments, no follow through, and lots of offers to come over and hot tub.
When I swiped on this guy, he was decent looking. Not like Ken or Smooth Criminal – this hot tub hottie was tall, the typical frat boy (sorry if you married one or are one)
Hot Tub Hottie comes with tons of guy friends, has a party at his house often, and a real grown up job so it’s hard to imagine being mid 40s and literally behaving like you are 20 especially with a kid.
Hot Tub Hottie uses the feature to call on the app and since I am a good listener; he talks about his ex wife and why they got divorced, the ex girlfriend who might have had some addictive tendencies. So in the matter of listening to him talk…. My initial thought of just wanting to get me in a hot tub – which was exactly the plan morphed into realizes that there was a lot more going on with this guy.
Over the past two weeks, Hot Tub Hottie really just wants a friend. In a weird way, maybe a therapist. He invites me over daily to hot tub and hang out – at first I was repulsed and just like what is the deal with this guy….like give it a rest. I asked him, why don’t you just ask me for dinner or to go out, why does it have to be at your house to meet you? Logically it does not seem like a smart decision for a stranger to be at your house – he didn’t seem the least bit phased.
He has called a number of times to chat – I was quite turned off with the hot tub thing over and over and voted him off the island. (I took him off the app) He had my phone number and after a few days – called and said – I know I seem like a guy just after a booty call; the truth is, I don’t meet people on here and I really just want a friend.
Interestingly enough, I believe him. I had thoughts of the Playboy Mansion with this guy – not like he lives there but a house with a constant Hugh Hefner kind of demeanor – then in a twist of fate, the truth starts to come out.
He is lonely, he got divorced, the girls on Bumble are much like my experiences – they lie, deceptive, don’t tell whole truths, and so on. (There are good ones but few) This guy really started to open up on the phone. The guy that I thought was a real piece of work was really just a guy who was hurt and has not really recovered. He gets a call from work and needs to call me back.
So he calls me back and states that he finds it’s easy to talk to me and my standards actually make me stand out because I won’t just come over or hang out without a proper date.
Conversations online or in the virtual world are much different than when you know a person or it’s a friend of a friend. He shares a ton of information about his life and what he is looking for.
So, I did not go on a date with Hot Tub Hottie and I feel like in some weird way I was meant to help him on his path … he has texted a few times about life but he isn’t really capable of dating for a purpose or on the path I am going.
There is zero flirting (except hot tub comments) and I have listened to him process his life, the divorce and when he finishes this call – I suggest he make an appointment for a counselor or a psychologist to help him through all of this….
We all have been in this situation – out there but realize that we are not ready to be in a relationship or need more time to heal before embracing on that next stage….
Well… clearly not batting well so far….
Stay Tuned for the Next Episode – Please Do Not Die Right Now
Hot N Cold Seems to be fitting for this episode