First off, I am learning and researching all I can during this pandemic and have really gotten the education of a lifetime….in more ways than one.
Dating – so who knew in a pandemic it would be a feast or a famine? No joke. I am researching the dating world ..not fully committing myself to the road quite yet but have been doing my homework and venturing out minimally…..
Okay..so the dating world now is so different than 5 years ago – now you swipe and if you swipe wrong you can shake your phone and undo the bad swipe! I mean – who knew? Also, dating is now video chats! Saves time and you can bolt sooner or choose to invest!! Win – Win!
Here is my research so far….
First, dog 🐕 fishing – it is when someone has borrowed a dog for their profile. No joke. This is a thing and encountered two profiles when I asked about the dog – “oh its my friends or people look more attractive with dogs” – yes this is true but I don’t envision men doing this.
Second, Jekylling – it is when someone is sweet and kind and on a dime changes to mean and not flexible – aggressive and anger comments – almost inflammatory when a disagreement or difference of opinions takes place – happens a lot with texting.
Third, Ghosting – let me say – I had my first experience of ghosting! It was so surreal quite honestly. I liked the guy – had two dates and then crickets -at first I was taken back..then actually was like – does he have COVID? So..back in 1998, I had a guy supposed to meet me for studying Calculus III exam and he did not show. I did not get a call or text and come to find out – on the way to my house – he was in a motorcycle accident on 675 and nearly died – critical care for 3 days…anyway, I first jumped to “what a jerk” but that reality check woke me up – since then always tried to give the benefit of the doubt since that experience- So now at 40 – how old are you to ghost? And you really aren’t that busy….anyway, I did hear back after 4 days…but what can you really want with someone who’s ghosting you? You cannot educate those who ghost – if they don’t care enough to be honest – you need to move on and there will always be people perpetuating this stereotype of non-consideration- bye felicia 👋
Fourth, Glam-Boozled – you spent your time showering, getting your hair done, nails are checked and he cancels a the 11th hour and you have put in the effort to go out…so does he have a real excuse or not?
Fifth, Dial- Toning – you give out your number – person texts and you do not respond. Don’t be that person. Just be honest.
Sixth, the Texting Machine – you and he text all the time and talk but no game. Recognize this player as a player and enjoy the context but know “he probably is not that into you” – most likely compliments, supports, and listens – rarely talks of the future
Seventh, Kanye -ing. This is the person who is larger than life. Has the ability to make you king or queen and drops you for the craziest things. This person may not have a filter but is a rollercoaster – good and bad.
Eighth, Ex Life – this is the one who returned during quarantine because they know you and don’t want to be alone. Not long lasting – just here for circumstance
Ninth, Quantini – you would not be together under any other situation. You were just the best option right now. The criteria they normally have has been thrown out.
The silver linings are plentiful….and here are my takeaways…
1. It’s my job to be myself. The right people will gravitate. It’s not my job to be likeable.
2. I have enjoyed quarantine as much as possible – quite honestly – (outside of missing travel) it is has been a glorious 6 months – I enjoy being home, love working from home, multi- task like a queen and have reduced the clutter in my daily life.
3. I get asked …don’t you wish you were married with kids – to be honest, don’t you wish you were single and could make a mess, not do homework, eat ice cream, drive around, and do you 24/7? Shopping with me at the grocery or even for shoes can be kid like – I do me and if I only want to eat vegetables for a week or want chicken every night…that’s how I roll…
4. To answer the question above, I do want to find someone and spend my life with someone who makes me better and challenges me and is not competing with me – I know a lot of people who have settled and are miserable – I have been there, done that, and got the t-shirt… It will happen when it’s supposed to
5. I trust that God has my back. Sometimes the best things in life are unanswered prayers.
6. Prioritize you: It has been great being apart of 3 articles this year:
USA Today – Top 9 Influencer – see below.
7. Focus on the things you can control – let the other things go. You will end up exactly where you need to be, not necessarily where you want to be.
8. After the rain, there will be a rainbow.
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