There are a variety of in-laws you might inherit so pay attention to what you are signing up for. Here are 10 types of in-laws and whether you are married or are dating someone… please read over and see if any of these types resonate with you. Also, in-laws can be a combination of categories.
The Annuals:
These are in laws that come around once a year – it might be for Christmas or a birthday, but they might come around a few times a year.
These in laws may work a lot, have several businesses, or a lot of kids and grandkids so they try to be respectful of your space and needs.
They are always there if needed. Just call.
Survival: Sign up for these in-laws.
The Social Media Oversharers:
These are the in-laws that find out you are having a baby and announce on social media to everyone your news.
They are also the ones who at your wedding may share someone else’s news to one up you.
They may tag you in posts; on Facebook or Instagram. They post publicly and don’t really think about the repercussions of their actions.
Survival: don’t share anything you don’t want on the front of page of the news.
Holiday In-Laws:
These in-laws celebrate every holiday. They host every holiday and expect your presence and don’t take into account anyone else’s schedules or time frames.
Christmas is a week long event and not attending is simply not an option. Splitting holidays or coming late ends up with a World War and a flood of tears.
Survival: Quit your job; this is a full time commitment
Throuple In-Laws:
These in-laws missed the fine print that your spouse has flown the coup. It is a bit crowded in the relationship. You, me, and Dupree.
Unannounced visits, daily calls, lists in the house, to do reminders, and coming in the house without approval is just the way business is done. When you ask that they call ahead; they make it a mission to show up even more.
Boundary – what is that? We / our are words they use to describe planning.
Survival: Change your garage code and don’t answer the phone during normal hours.
Umbilical In-Laws
These in-laws have been holding onto the cord for at least 20 years. They still make appointments, still give their opinion on everything; even unsolicited, and decorate the house.
They come over and consistently insert themselves in all decisions. They give thoughts on when you should have kids, whether you should buy a house, how you should split finances, and basically how you should live.
Survival: Move out of the country or out of town.
Country Club In-Laws:
These in-laws care about image, pedigree, degrees, and resume. They are convinced you are never good enough and make it known you do not belong.
You must play golf, have rich friends, and be well connected to survive or be heir apparent in your role in this family.
You must look good at all times, be available on demand, and be ready at a moments notice.
Survival: Don’t hate the game, hate the player. Just know you will never win. Just be pleasant and limit interactions.
Gaslighters:
These in-laws particularly the female may be female narcissist and is emotionally abusive. Gaslighters have the favorite, the scapegoat and play a lot of mind games.
The mom believes she sacrificed, loved, and did everything imaginable to make sure everyone knows the commitment she made in this family. When you recall a different childhood, she says you are imaginative.
I only did that because.. you remember that differently.. I didn’t do that… you are crazy.. don’t be dramatic.. don’t be so emotional.
Survival: trust the reality that your spouse had and distance makes you like them better…
The Addicts:
These in-laws are toxic and may have toxic and abusive addictions. It takes an emotional toll on everyone. From drinking, to gambling, to bad investments.
These in-laws may ask for money or play victim way too many times for comfort. It can be exhausting and dangerous.
Survival: limit interactions as it will cause drama in your own house
The Critics:
These in-laws criticize parenting, job choice, and really any decision you make that they didn’t provide their input on. Religion, politics, and a variety of other topics just create chaos.
This might be the most difficult and most toxic in-law group. Personal attacks on your or your spouse are common; empathy does not exist and they reload with new ammo to get you on the next visit.
There is never peace.
Survival: limit what you say, what you do, and time with them.
The Jackpot:
These in-laws are like your family and they are the best. They support you, love you, and try not to judge you.
They prioritize happiness, working together and just keeping the peace.
They realize life is short and building the relationship when they are done with your spouse and being apart of things is key.
Survival: you wish everyone could have this.
Hope you have one of the more favorable in-laws! ❤️❤️❤️
Xoxo,
Heidi
