It happened! I was stood up. I could fail to miss this detail in the trials and tribulations of my journey in dating but it’s the truth and it’s authentic.
No one wants to be stood up. Swipe, swipe, swipe.. and finally one that resembles a possible swipe right. So here you go.
This guy looks vaguely familiar. I do a little homework and realize this guy sat in math class next to me a bazillion years ago in college and is on the dating app.
It’s been years – so I send a “hey” and he replies back kindly with a message about how he had been actually thinking about me. I mean – I am totally memorable … sitting in Linear Algebra and Differential Equations next to him asking him for the English version of what any of it meant – just kidding but we all worked together (class was like 10 people) and got really close taking the classes together – most of my friends went to Wright State and I went to Cedarville.
So where are we now? What has happened? So he has been in a few long term relationships, no kids, no marriages – so far… this appears to be a win in one aspect but what else should I know?
The dating apps are legitimately exhausting – it’s like 7 dudes to 1 girl and if you really want a win – then plan and manifest accordingly. So, this guy who actually knows me – is planning a date and said – I would never take a girl to Marion’s for a first date but knowing you – still a huge fan?
Ummmmmm! Yes! That’s a win. So from 20 years ago, you remember what I like to eat – and he laughs and said:
You are the only adult I know who lives life like a kid and has a credit card – now I might have been offended but at this point in my life… it’s true. (So for those who don’t know Marion’s – it’s an amazing pizza place that anytime I am in the Dayton area I am stopping bc there… add it to your list)
I do get waffles with chocolate syrup, I eat Happy Meals, I go to Disney and enjoy it more than little kids, and find joy in almost everything… not much has changed except – truthfully
You can’t buy happiness, but a plane ticket is essential the same thing 😉 so buy me a plane ticket and I am good … kidding… or am I?
So yeah, I will take it. I will also be glad to not deal with the dumb Bumble responses like
– hiya, hi princess, here’s my number, hot tub tonight?, you – me let’s meet now…
It gets exhausting. I don’t swipe much to the right and rarely actually send a message because it can get into a weird exchange of words.
I feel like the most quality people really are intentional with what they write if they are really serious and I respond accordingly. If you write a lot, I will write a few sentences and so on. If you are trying to meet “your person” then please put forth effort.
So many of these people are looking for entertainment and are playing games – I want something serious and want to have fun. So back to the date.
We schedule it.
So it’s Saturday night and I have driven 1:28 minutes to get there (mind you I typically won’t go to great lengths like this for a date but it’s close to family and friends and can see him and everyone else on the way back) I get to Marion’s and I hear nothing. Chirp chirp 🦗
I check my phone. After 35 minutes I text him – hey, making sure we were planning on the same Marion’s –
I left it at that. I mean if you can’t text me you are late or forgot; I cannot help you. College professors with a Ph.D get 15 minutes and I have totally waited wayyy too long so I get my pizza and Coke (the machine there might be actually better than McDonalds Coke)
I stopped by Springfield on my way to Columbus to see a few friends and family.
Of course my mom immediately jumps to – I am sure there is a reason. I jump to – no, this is what they do.
So let me put this in perspective. I drove 1:28 minutes to Dayton from my house to meet a guy I know to be stood up without a call or a text.
I immediately Google – why do guys not show up or ghost you?
I read all the reasons and I am just disgusted. I tried to think of a reason that I gave this dude from 20 years ago that would make him hate me – he didn’t have one.
The next day is Sunday and I still hear nothing. I check Bumble, my phone and watching the phone is a terrible habit.
No guy is worth watching your phone but I just could not believe that someone would do this – esp a friend. Monday comes and still nothing. I send another text – send a thumbs up if you are alive – or a ghost to know I was ghosted.
👻 or 👍 and nothing….
I have nothing .. like I can’t fix this. My friends were like – he will message.
Wednesday, I got a call and a text. So Andrew had a motorcycle and his friend just bought one. His friend had never driven a motorcycle before and Andrew was driving it from the dealership (is that what it’s called for a bike?) to his friends house and a person texting didn’t see him and hit him.
Let me go back in time- this guy reminded me a lot of the Tom Cruise back in college – always on a bike, backpack for class, aviator sunglasses. To be completely honest – a Tom Cruise doppelgänger. At that time in my life, he was out of my league. I was happy to sit next him in class and chat and study on the weekends – our class if 10 broke out into groups of 2 and studied together a few nights a week and we would all get together on Sunday nights. There was also the hot military guy (Brice) in this class who was a tad older and completely focused on school and getting out. He actually never joined us at Glen Helen to study by the waterfalls. Why do I mention this, because if you have ever had that crush in class or that strong like but would never ever say anything… this class was me (one girl) and 9 guys. Those reading this… the odds in math and science of meeting a guy are higher (today more women are being encouraged but at my time in school – these classes were predominantly men)
His friend – thankfully was driving behind following him but the driver hit Andrew and tried to leave the scene of the accident. Andrew was left lying on the ground, blood and torn to shreds. He was wearing a helmet and had leather pants and jacket but it still messed him up.
He was launched into the median and was careflighted to the hospital and spent a few days in the hospital. His friend got ahold of Andrew’s parents but no one could get into his phone while he was in a coma. Of course, the phone wasn’t the priority. He was banged up, was being released from the hospital and would message when he was better.
He reached out to apologize and admitted he had a lot of time in recovery- surgeries and was not really going to be able to date anyone considering he could not drive or go to work for at least a few months.
About 6 months later he did reach out and let me know he was moving out of state for work and he was still recovering.
My takeaway from this situation was give the benefit of the doubt. Unless someone shows you a reason to distrust them, they can’t be the person that takes the blunt end of the way others have treated you. Remember this.. think the best until you have a reason not to believe them.
Next Episode: Date with a Widow
Song for this episode: Danger Zone