1. Not all friendships are like those forever guarantees they slap on kitchen appliances. Sometimes, those folks you’d trust to bail you out of jail at 3 AM just sort of… ghost. It’s like leveling up in adulting—figuring out who’s a keeper and who’s more of a seasonal guest star in the sitcom of your life. So when you find yourself reminiscing about those erstwhile besties, just chuckle, send them some good vibes in a thought bubble, and scroll on.
2. Sometimes it really is your fault. Sometimes you have to apologize with a clear, strong voice. Sometimes you have to own up to your part. You might not even know how it even happened (or what). I’ve learned that apologies build bridges that fake smiles and make believe never will.
3. Buy the shoes, book the trip—don’t end up the wealthiest diva in the graveyard with nothing to show but a fabulous tombstone and unused frequent flyer miles!
4. Time to activate your gutsy gear and tie those sneakers extra tight, because you’re about to do some Olympic-level walking away! Strut away from tables where nobody gets your jokes, from friends who think your Netflix recommendations are “weird,” and from love that fizzles out faster than a cheap sparkler. Remember, you’re not running away, you’re just on a victory lap away from the drama!
5. Spring is like that reliable friend who always shows up late to the party—eventually. Just when you think you’re doomed to eternal winter, bam, daffodils! Hang in there; even the worst days end up getting shoved aside by better ones, like last year’s fashion.
6. Because let’s face it, looking dumb is just a sneak preview of your future genius. Dive into those mysteries, bombard Google with your questions, and tackle confusion like a detective on a caffeine binge. You’re smart, strong, and, most importantly, tenacious. So go ahead, wear the ‘dunce cap’ today; tomorrow you’ll be the one handing them out!
7. Think of yourself as the lone pineapple on a pizza—controversial yet unapologetically fabulous. For every fan cheering you on, there’s a crowd waving their “No Pineapple” signs. But remember, your job isn’t to convert the pineapple haters; it’s to stand tall, juicy, and delicious for those who crave your zesty truth. Shine on, you crazy diamond, even if 20 out of 21 people prefer plain cheese!
8. Honesty above everything else. Honesty with yourself and your mom and dad and your kids and your spouse and your friends. Honesty. Even if it hurts and even if it comes out in a whisper. Speak the truth.
9. Adulting Pro Tips: Renew your car license before you’re the star of a high-speed chase—bonus points if your tags are current. Keep your eyebrows lush—think caterpillar, not earthworm. Saturate those locks with leave-in conditioner; let’s aim for goddess hair, not scarecrow chic. Rock that swimsuit, ditch the torture devices masquerading as footwear, and devour books that don’t double as sedatives.
10. No booze required to boogie—just unleash your inner dance machine. Embrace the sacred art of napping, and approach bangs with extreme caution—some things are harder to grow out than a cactus. Get handsy with soil, not just your phone; plant something greener than envy. Throw parties because why not? Laughter is the best freebie you can give your peeps. Keep it quirky, keep it fun!
11. Buckle up, because you’re about to embark on the rollercoaster ride called “Tough Times.” Yes, there will be days and nights so long, you’ll swear they’re stretching just to mess with you. You might even find yourself in a staring contest with the clock, counting seconds like they’re sheep jumping over a fence. But hang in there! You’ve got this. You’ll make it through with more tales to tell than a seasoned fisherman after a weekend at the lake. Remember, what doesn’t kill you gives you a bunch of sketchy stories to scare everyone at parties.
12. If life gives you lemons, grab your suitcase. Whether it’s cheers or tears, it’s always a good time to check your baggage.
13. Never regret loving someone—even if it turns out they’re about as perfect as a square-wheeled skateboard. At least you got a wild ride and Choose a life partner, not a long-term DIY project. You want a co-pilot, not someone who still needs help assembling their adulting manual.
Xoxo,
Heidi
