It’s me, hi. I’m the problem, it’s me..
The story of how I am here at 42 – it’s a long story and will share it in another post or a few at some point. My plan is to share dating in Columbus – glad you are here and thanks for reading. Lots of content, lots of laughs, so prepare for an entertaining read!
When you become single, there is a gut wrenching feeling of dread, panic, and instant “not again” When you get to the point of acceptance, you are faced with choices. Really.. what app do you join? Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, E-Harmony, Hinge, Tawkify, a matchmaker or a reference.
Decisions…decisions…decisions… Bumble appeals because it allows me to be in charge. I like taking the lead and I like making the call – this could be a reason I am single but we can visit that later also…
Downloaded Bumble, posted 6 pictures and now it’s time to start swiping. I also have to decide if I am going to pay for an upgrade to see who likes me or not. Let’s upgrade to see and sort people.
Within 3 hours, 950 people have liked me and now it’s time to start swiping… let’s see what this brings.
I have examined, analyzed, and persevered through profiles that are incredibly shocking and equally disturbing. Plenty of things to talk about….
Let’s start with profiles … one guy had a falcon in his picture as he was dressed in a costume. States he wears this a few times a week for the falcon – you can’t make this stuff up.
There was the guy who was shirtless in the bathroom with the toilet in the selfie – not hot and not a way to get the ladies…
We will revisit the amazing world of profiles soon. You swipe and swipe and swipe and then I managed to start a conversation with a modern day Ken.
Heidi Meets Ken (not his real name)
To be honest, anyone who saw this dashing guy would be just as enamored as I was… he has an older kid, has a professional job, likes tennis and golf and literally looks like he came out of JCrew catalog made for specific order.
Keeping it chill and low key, I swiped right and he already swiped right on me. Within 1 minute, he messaged and asked me about my favorite things to do – outside of travel and wanted to compare travel destinations.
We will refer to him as Ken. Ken writes quite a bit and asks questions; completely engaged for a bit. Conversation online flows easily and it’s now pretty late – time to say good night on the app.
Can’t come in to online dating with much expectation – so many people are out to play a game, out to see what they can get, out to cat fish, or to see if there are better options.
Ken reaches out the next day that he is extremely busy and can squeeze me the next day around 5:30 if that will work for me. I wait a bit to respond and then agree to meet.
He suggests a swanky place downtown and my guess is that every girl is taken to the same spot – most likely the same MO. Ken seems very comfortable with the game plan. He schedules time for drinks and let’s me know he only has an hour because he is going out of town. I don’t drink but ice tea will be just fine.
Mid afternoon date day, he texts and asks to move the time up to 4:30 because his kid has something going on and didn’t want to cancel. Because I am understanding, I agree.
Arrive at swanky location and am really excited to meet this modern day Ken who has a passport, job, great teeth, good clothes, and of course a BMW.
Shoes and cars are a thing for me … certain cars ..certain personalities… another post later but you know what I mean. Low key, low risk, low investment time to meet this guy. We both get out of cars because the place opens at 4:30 and we are there when it opens.
Ken comes over and gives me a great big hug and compliments me on my style. Kinda surprising but welcomed and pleasantly surprised. We exchange some words and grab a spot at the bar. Within literally 3 minutes, he gets a buzz on the iPhone watch; informs me his kid is messaging.
Grabs his phone out of his pocket and messages back. Within another 6 minutes, it happens again… and pulls phone out – so let me be clear; I am not heartless but your kid is almost out of the house – can you not tell your kid you need 45 minutes?
So Ken asks me questions about life and work; talks about himself and let’s be honest – he does love himself. He talks about his empire; I am exaggerating but narcissism was clearly a trait.
About 38 minutes into the date, his kid calls and Ken apologizes and takes the call; there was some crying and some drama – and you never know when that can happen but seriously… he goes to the bathroom while on the phone. Returns and apologizes profusely.
Ken explained the situation and the call was from his kid; it’s just messed up to waste my time. He says I have really messed things up and want to go out again next week for dinner and I promise to make it up to you. I really didn’t get much time and this was really rude.
I will be honest – if I had not heard tears on the other end; I would have seriously left him when he went in the bathroom. At this point, when he returns, I said – sounds like you need to go.
Ken apologized not short of 8 times on the way out. He hugged me and said next week, dinner and I promise to make it up to you. When he returned from the bathroom, I was already standing.
A day later I did text and said that despite the crazy, he was really nice and we do have a lot in common. Ken replied the next day letting me know he was out of town for work and would be flying out of state at the end of the week and was looking forward to a redo.
A few days went by and the weekend was almost over; I received a text.
Okay, when a dude sends this… don’t trust them. Seriously Ken. Why would you send this? I laughed and had so many thoughts… and then follows up with he has decided he wants to be friends after this emoji. No explanation, no clarity. Thanks Ken for wasting an hour of my life that I will not get back.
Next episode ….Smooth Criminal
When I think of all of this… Barbie Girl seems to hit the spot.